Educating Males and Social Media

Thanks to my good friend Kamal James, who started a book club reviewing, “Of Boys and Men”, by Richard Reeves, I was introduced to the increasing challenges males are having in the classroom.  First, I want to caveat this and say I think and worry about education in general, males and females, but the data presented by Reeves shows the increasing challenges males are having in the classroom. 

I experienced the outcome of this phenomenon for years in the college admission field as more and more females apply to college than males.  At two institutions, we struggled to enroll males, in part because female applicants were more academically qualified.  It became one of my stereotypes to say, in a politically incorrect way, “boys are just stupid.”  While not true across the board, again, we experienced more academically qualified females applying than males.  Our applicant pools also had more females applying than males.  At one institution, despite offering engineering and business colleges as well as division one football and basketball – traditionally attractive to male applicants – more females, and more academically qualified females applied and enrolled. 

Tied to this, I also recently completed reading the book, “The Anxious Generation” by Jonathan Haidt.  Candidly as a father of two children, an older female and a younger male, the book freaked me out.  The data presented by Haidt was nothing short of alarming.  Haidt cites that between 2010-2015, largely due to the advent of smart phones, more teenagers exhibited signs of depression, anxiety, suicide, mental health challenges, an inability to make friends, and the list goes on.  While females exhibited some challenges greater than males, males also exhibited some challenges greater than females. 

My first instinct was to take my son’s phone, as well as mine, and throw it in the garbage.  Knowing this was sadly impossible (call me old school), I huddled with my spouse and began expressing my alarm as to what I had suspected but what I was learning was confirmed.  After she talked me down by providing peace of mind that our kids were not in fact total knuckleheads and lost causes, we had a more mature conversation about potential changes we could implement to reduce some of the behaviors we were seeing in our son. 

Admittedly, some of these will take resilience and persistence as parents because the changes we want to implement are meaningful.  His smart phone must be turned in at night in our room and not in his bedroom.  While this was a little struggle and involved some back and forth, the next one was more challenging.  No smart phones in his bedroom at all.  This is proving to be and will be a tough one.  I suspect we will be lenient in some cases where friends are over but in general, the phone in the bedroom, based on Haidt’s research reduces human interaction and real friend making.  There is more here too, but I recommend reading the book.

I felt so passionate about the book; I shared it with my son’s high school principal.  Thankfully, his son and my son are good friends, and he is a patient person to accept my anxieties.  He also shared in our conversation that some of Haidt’s recommendations are being discussed, not because of the book, but because some of the behaviors Haidt cites in general are being observed. 

I also recommended the book to my sister who has two kids under ten.  She is a great parent, and I know the book will influence how she manages smart phones and social media with her children.

So, both Reeves’ and Haidt’s writing intersect.  Boys are increasingly challenged in school and part of this is caused by the increased use of smart phones. 

So outside of limiting smart phone use in our homes, my major recommendation is for schools, particularly K-8 but also from 9-12, to ensure a no smart phone policy in the school.  Achieving this, according to Haidt, must be accomplished by having phone lockers or secure phone bags.  Checking to ensure students are not turning in a fake or old phone is essential.  I understand parents may feel they need access to their kids in case of an emergency, but prior to smart phones, parents could get messages to their students via calls to the school and does not seem like too much of a back in time stretch.

I am sure there are some who will disagree with me.  I admit I am a little old school in this case.  But having seen the outcome of over smart phone usage and having seen how over smart phone usage has adversely impacted the academic progress of males, and females, corrective action, I feel is needed.